What I know about: Bottling it Up

Nice title right... Quite contradictory to my regular posts of hope and vision. But here in my era of honesty I have a point to make.

I have been angry for the past couple of weeks, sometimes just mad for no reason at all. I recognize the anger as unproductive, baseless, and probably manageable if I just took the time to manage it.. but I haven't. I have been pushing back every time I am pushed, and that is not like (the new) me at all.

Then on my way back from the car dealership the other day I realized why I was not managing my anger as well as I once had been.

For the longest time, I had been carrying this cute little stripped spiral notebook with brown recyclable paper pages, and an elastic band that held it shut. It was just small enough that it fit in a handbag easily. I took it everywhere. It held meeting notes from work, and church notes form services, and journal entries that I made when I was mad or sad or happy for that matter.

So the last time I was at the dealership I wrote a fax number in the book and handed it to the woman who had been handling my paperwork. She forgot to bring the notebook back to me, then I left. When I went back she reminded me about the notebook. She said "You know you are not getting your notebook back, right?" Then she went on to explain how she had read the notes, and been inspired by the church notes and writings. She said she had been reading one page in the notebook every day. It was inspirational to her.

I have NO idea what I wrote in that thing that could be that inspiring, but if it is a blessing to her I want her to keep it. However it was on my way home from that exchange that I realized what was missing for me.

In a post last year I mentioned to you all that when I have things going on in my life I tend to write them down instead of bottle them up. Leaving the worries on the paper was helpful to me in moving past whatever negative emotion was holding me back. During the tough times I would write every day, and when those times passed I did not need to write so often.

I have not been following my own advice.

So yesterday I went and bought a new notebook, and I am about to start letting it out again. I am sure that everyone who has been around me in the days since I lost my book will be happy.

What I Know About: Handing it Over

By Jennifer Texada

Earlier this week, I was having a conversation. I was asked if I would "snap" if I saw my guy with another woman. I said no. To that I was told, that I was mistaken, that everyone has a breaking point, and if pressured enough everyone has the potential to do it. THEN! I was told that I have probably never been through anything devastating enough, to understand the feeling.

I have snapped before. Been so angry that I lashed out. I have let my emotions get the best of me, everyone has. I have just finally started to understand that I don't have to do all that.

Those days where people do things that hurt me will still come. I may indeed see my guy with another woman one day. But now, when I am faced with a burden so heavy that I am in danger of buckling under the pressure, or snapping under the strain, I have learned how to had that over to God. He is way stronger than me, and my little burdens will never cause him to snap.

Don't get me wrong it is not automatic. It takes, faith and strength to get to a place where you have the ability in those moments of strife to hand it over. But if your goal is to achieve peace and maintain happiness even through the storms it can be done

What I know about: Feeding the Monsters

By: Jennifer Texada

Monsters like Fear, Self-doubt, Anger, and Drama come to visit me all of the time. They used to love me, because I would put a bowl of food out for them whenever they would come around. But lately they don’t come around so much anymore, if they do come around they don’t tend to stay long. I don’t feed them anymore, if I do, they don’t get much.

I call them the monsters because they can be so big and destructive. When they creep into your life you can choose to feed them, and give them energy or you can starve them until they go away. And they always go away, eventually.

Feeding the monster is giving it fuel;

Step 1, if I call something drama, no matter how little or big it is, then it becomes drama.

Step 2, I tell my friends about my drama (i.e. Ooh girl, do I am going through some drama…).

Step 3, I let them feed my drama, invite them to comment and get angry or scared right along with me. Now this little issue has become very big, and will continue to grow until it is solved or I stop feeding it.

I know how tempting it is to feed the monsters. It is natural to want to label, validate and discuss your feelings, especially the negative ones. However the key to not creating monsters lies in how and how much you label, validate and discuss them.

It is not to say my life is monster-free, but when it they show up I know I have choices. I try and put those things that challenge me into perspective. If it deserves some energy I try to give it positive energy. If I must speak on it try to talk about its solution, or minimize its importance in the grand scheme of life. If I call it small, then it tends to become small in my mind, and in turn I handle it like a small problem.

If it becomes bigger than I want it to, or I feel like it is getting away from me, I give it to God. In the face of these things I draw my strength from knowing that there is no problem to big for my God to handle. As big or bad as something may seem my God is bigger and badder.

So stop feeding the monster and start greeting the challenges. Life is too short to allow obstacles to take over…and that’s all they are, obstacles. Some may be big, some may be small, but know that God will not give you anything you can’t handle.


Next Article: What I know about: Being happy in the now