Wednesday, June 18, 2008

What I Know About: Re-discovering Yourself

By Jennifer Texada
A friend called me a few weeks ago crying (again) complaining (again) about something that the "Him" in her life had done. In the middle of the conversation she mentioned that she was tired of everything in her life being about "Him". She felt like she was becoming one of "those women" who's whole life and happiness revolved around her guy. I guess that is fine for trophy wives and first ladies, but for most of us that is not a healthy way to live.

So I asked her to do what I did back when I felt like I was losing myself. To be honest, by the time I had figured this out, I had already lost myself and was going on a full scale hunt! I told her to make a list of the things that were just about her, the things that she loved to do. It turns out that this was not an easy list to make. She had been in this situation so long she had no idea who she was and what she liked.

When I was in this situation, these are the 2 questions that helped me to figure it out.

1-When was the last time you were happy, and feeling totally free? What did you do for fun, and what made you happy?

2- If you were single, and had no kids, where would you go, what would you do?

She starts with "That is all well and good but how am I really going to do that" already making excuses. "He can do what he wants, because he has a babysitter, me I have children I cannot just do whatever I want when I want to".

Point taken, hire a babysitter. Isn't your sanity and happiness is worth $20 a week for a few hours of freedom.

Yesterday she called me from the nail salon. A.K.A. the place where happiness begins.