Friday, January 16, 2009

What I Know About: Legacy

Almost every decision I have made since the day learned that I was pregnant with my oldest child has been based on what was best for her, and her future.

When I saw that President Obama wrote to his daughters, I was so touched. It reminded me of the letters I wrote to my daughters when I was pregnant with them, and it reminded me of why do what I do every day. His letter made me think about what else I should be doing to ensure that their life is all that they can ever dream that it to be, and more.

President Obama says in his letter
"When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me -- about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world…."I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation,"

My goal as a mother has always been to produce people who will be an inspiration and blessing to everyone they meet. I realize that my legacy lies not in what I do, but in what I leave behind. I hope that I can make decisions and teach lessons to them that will resonate with my grand children and maybe even their children.

What is your legacy going to be? When your children walk out your door what will they take with them (other than your checkbook) that will reflect back on you as a parent?

Thursday, January 8, 2009

What I know About: Your Place in My Life

I hear from husbands all the time that they wish that their wife was their "best friend". In the case of my best friend her husband, although we are also friends gets a bit jealous of our relationship. He often wishes that she would tell him all of the things that she tells me, or our other friend that she talks to all of the time.

Her answer to this was that "They are my best friends...You are my husband". When she said it, it made perfect sense to me. A husband is one type of relationship. I think of it as part relative, part business partner, part boyfriend.

She explained to him that I could not serve as her husband... we did not live together, we have no children together, all that we do is talk on the phone or visit or travel every once in a while. Our relationship is not the same.

I am not sure what it is that husbands "think" that they want to take over this relationship? They don't go around saying things like I want to be your mother, or your sister, or your boss? These are all relationships that give you access to insight into your wife... why not that?

I am beginning to believe that every relationship in your life is different. You will not share the same experiences that you do with your spouse, as you do with your mother and father, as you do with your children. My relationship with my aunts is going to be diffent than yours with your aunts. Even the relationships that I have with my children are different from each other. All though the relationships I have with them are both wonderful, they different, and I treasure them both for different reasons.

All and all If I ever marry again my husband probably won't be my best friend, my best friend will remain the same person that it has been for the past 16/17 years. He will be my husband and that will be a relationship that will stand on it's own merit.