As a child I always thought I had great Christmas mornings! I got a mix of gifts from underwear and socks to the latest baby doll, or board game. I admit I was fortunate, I never remember a Christmas morning where I did not wake my brothers and run out to the living room to see a sea of gifts overflowing abundantly from beneath the tree. Every year I gave my list to my mother to "mail to Santa" and I generally got at least 2 or 3 of those things on the list and was always grateful and thrilled for that. Of course like any kid I stacked my list for good measure. I had a system... I always put something crazy like a pony in the number one slot, so that when "Santa" reviewed the list new bike looked like a reasonable request when positioned next to the pony. Yes even at 8 years old I was strategic. But bike or no bike for me it was more about the flurry of paper and ribbons, then Christmas lounging around, then dinner and fun with the family.
I hear that in many households that the meaning of the holiday is changing? I did not know that you could change a 2000 year old tradition but… okay whatever. From what I understand now the tradition is to spend every dime on sneakers, and handbags, video games, and cell phones. I also hear that if they don’t get every little last thing on their list then the kids are allowed to throw a fit and demand of you the latest in fabulous clothing and gadgets, or you risk being ignored or tormented by their angry rampages?
I have even heard that as a teen you can tell your parents stuff like “This is the phone I want…you can either get me this or nothing” Well I know what my parents would have said if they had been faced with such an ultimatum, but what about you? Do you feel pressured by society and your children to spend obnoxious amounts of money in a effort to win their love and respect?
Parents trust me I understand your dilemma. I too want only the best for my beautiful daughters...I want their eyes to light up on Christmas morning as they tear open the boxes to see the delights of their heart. But I also want the house to light up because I can continue to afford to keep the lights on. Beyond just the cost of it all, I want them to realize that Christmas is more than getting the “Stuff” that you want.
This year…like every year they will get a few of those fancy presents, but mostly books, and board games, art supplies sweaters and stuff.
Personally I think those things prove my love for them even more than a video game or a cell phone. Those things represent practical love. Those things to me represent the fact that I want them to stay warm, and I want to play games with them, and I want them to love art and reading. I want them to know that neither the spirit of Christmas nor my love for them can be measured in the price of the gifts under the tree.
Showing posts with label teens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teens. Show all posts
Monday, December 15, 2008
Friday, December 29, 2006
From our kids: Do parents go to far?
By Iyana E. (age 12.5)
Parents love you, parents care for you, and parents also butt into your business.
We all know parents only want to protect us. However sometimes they go too far. Digging in are stuff is bad. Listening to phone calls, and reading your diary is worst. Say for example,say the mother of a 14 year old daugter, the daughter has a new boyfriend, however mom doesn't trust him, so she listens to their calls. one day while mom was listening, and she heard somthing about a party she wasn't suppose to know about. Then mom grounds her and tells her that she cannot talk to her boyfriend anymore. Later she comes to find out her daugher and the boy were just planning a surprise birthday party for mom.Some times situations like this occur, and even the best parents end up embarassing them selves.
In my opinion, parents just need to talk to their kids. Just because kids aren't telling you something, it doesn't mean thier doing anything wrong. My mom and I always talk, if we need to. If she does need to know something, she just asks me, before jumping to conclusions. I usually just go ahead and tell her what's going on. If I don't she understands that it is somthing that I am not ready to talk about or no big deal and she leaves me alone. I usually tell her eventually, because I trust her and she trusts me.
I'm not Dr.phil or oprah, but sometimes parents just need to leave their kids alone, and trust that thier kids are not dumb. If their is a problem or a situation, your kids will talk to you when their ready. Kids and parents just need to learn how to trust each other. That's the bottom line
- what do you think?
Parents love you, parents care for you, and parents also butt into your business.
We all know parents only want to protect us. However sometimes they go too far. Digging in are stuff is bad. Listening to phone calls, and reading your diary is worst. Say for example,say the mother of a 14 year old daugter, the daughter has a new boyfriend, however mom doesn't trust him, so she listens to their calls. one day while mom was listening, and she heard somthing about a party she wasn't suppose to know about. Then mom grounds her and tells her that she cannot talk to her boyfriend anymore. Later she comes to find out her daugher and the boy were just planning a surprise birthday party for mom.Some times situations like this occur, and even the best parents end up embarassing them selves.
In my opinion, parents just need to talk to their kids. Just because kids aren't telling you something, it doesn't mean thier doing anything wrong. My mom and I always talk, if we need to. If she does need to know something, she just asks me, before jumping to conclusions. I usually just go ahead and tell her what's going on. If I don't she understands that it is somthing that I am not ready to talk about or no big deal and she leaves me alone. I usually tell her eventually, because I trust her and she trusts me.
I'm not Dr.phil or oprah, but sometimes parents just need to leave their kids alone, and trust that thier kids are not dumb. If their is a problem or a situation, your kids will talk to you when their ready. Kids and parents just need to learn how to trust each other. That's the bottom line
- what do you think?
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
I Think: Wants-vs-Needs
By Mia Black
You gently rub the bridge of your nose as you ponder how you’re going to stretch your paycheck over the stack of bills piled in front of you. Number one priority is groceries. And now that you’ve put that off for so long, a quarter of your check will be dedicated to feeding the family. Well you know you won’t be able to pay anything in full, so you opt to just short-pay everyone. This moment no longer brings you to tears because you’ve struggled paycheck-to-paycheck for so long.
As you write the last check; your 16 year-old daughter walks in the front door. She is listening to her 80GB i-Pod with one ear and talking on her Nextel i930 with the other. She places her Inspiron notebook case on the couch, before coming over to kiss you. You give her a pat on the hand. She walks over and opens the refrigerator. Before she can complain that there is nothing to eat, you tell her you are going grocery shopping tomorrow.
Hold up! Rewind! Do you not see anything wrong with this picture? Before you sympathize with this situation, ask yourself the question, why is this teenager walking around with close to $1,000 worth of electronic toys and there is no food in the refrigerator? How do you short-pay the electric and gas bill, but continue to pay the cell phone bill for your daughter?
I hate to sound like an old person, but back in my day when you bought a “toy” its expense ended at the purchase, not like “must-have” toys of today. An i-Pod by itself will do nothing, you must continually purchase music. A cell phone has its monthly commitment, contracts, and don’t leave out the overpriced pretty little gadgets to decorate them. Let’s not forget the monthly obligation you must keep so your daughter can communicate wirelessly with her friends on her laptop. And because the parent has made the adult decision to purchase these toys, the paycheck is going to have to stretch a little farther each month.
For many parents not grasping the idea that being able to buy the toys versus actually being able to afford the toys, has forced many a household to run on a paycheck-to-paycheck budget. It is not just sad that this child has the top of the line cell phone and nothing to eat, but I believe this financially irresponsible characteristic can be passed down to this child. I’m not saying “financially irresponsible” in a malicious manner, because I believe in the dream of trying to give your child the world. But there is nothing wrong with the disposable camera dream if the disposable camera dream is what you can afford. Because instead of giving them the $300 digital camera, you have given them a life lesson of live within your means. You are doing your child no favors by giving them the world but not teaching them how to survive in it.
You gently rub the bridge of your nose as you ponder how you’re going to stretch your paycheck over the stack of bills piled in front of you. Number one priority is groceries. And now that you’ve put that off for so long, a quarter of your check will be dedicated to feeding the family. Well you know you won’t be able to pay anything in full, so you opt to just short-pay everyone. This moment no longer brings you to tears because you’ve struggled paycheck-to-paycheck for so long.
As you write the last check; your 16 year-old daughter walks in the front door. She is listening to her 80GB i-Pod with one ear and talking on her Nextel i930 with the other. She places her Inspiron notebook case on the couch, before coming over to kiss you. You give her a pat on the hand. She walks over and opens the refrigerator. Before she can complain that there is nothing to eat, you tell her you are going grocery shopping tomorrow.
Hold up! Rewind! Do you not see anything wrong with this picture? Before you sympathize with this situation, ask yourself the question, why is this teenager walking around with close to $1,000 worth of electronic toys and there is no food in the refrigerator? How do you short-pay the electric and gas bill, but continue to pay the cell phone bill for your daughter?
I hate to sound like an old person, but back in my day when you bought a “toy” its expense ended at the purchase, not like “must-have” toys of today. An i-Pod by itself will do nothing, you must continually purchase music. A cell phone has its monthly commitment, contracts, and don’t leave out the overpriced pretty little gadgets to decorate them. Let’s not forget the monthly obligation you must keep so your daughter can communicate wirelessly with her friends on her laptop. And because the parent has made the adult decision to purchase these toys, the paycheck is going to have to stretch a little farther each month.
For many parents not grasping the idea that being able to buy the toys versus actually being able to afford the toys, has forced many a household to run on a paycheck-to-paycheck budget. It is not just sad that this child has the top of the line cell phone and nothing to eat, but I believe this financially irresponsible characteristic can be passed down to this child. I’m not saying “financially irresponsible” in a malicious manner, because I believe in the dream of trying to give your child the world. But there is nothing wrong with the disposable camera dream if the disposable camera dream is what you can afford. Because instead of giving them the $300 digital camera, you have given them a life lesson of live within your means. You are doing your child no favors by giving them the world but not teaching them how to survive in it.
Friday, November 17, 2006
I Think: When she is dressed like that who's to blame?
By. Mia Black
She’s got that big ole’ ghetto booty, tight lycra jeans (low enough to show off that hot pink thong), and oh how that belly shirt shows off her D-cup. Damn!!! Girlfriend is all that and then some! Although girlfriend my have it going on, she is only fourteen. That’s right, fourteen.
Was it like this when I was growing up in the eighties? Maybe it was, but even the tight jeans were not this tight. I grew up in time where mostly baggy jeans and backwards clothes were the style, but today it is all about showing everything you got, panties and all. I look at some of the clothes our teenager girls are wearing and I wonder how they squeezed their overly mature bodies into them.
Now there were fashion controversies in the eighties: skin-tight denim and the mini skirts. But I lived in a home where my mother whipped out the measuring tape before I left for school just to make sure the skirt hovered right above my knees. And don’t get me started on the pinch test, to see if I had enough breathing room in my jeans. Today’s purpose of a measuring tape is to tell you if the waistline is no more than an inch below your navel! Unless you’re a plumber, I don’t want to see your crack, your panties…nothing!!
And that is no longer toilet paper or socks in that bra. Push-up, padded, and water-filled bras rule the market. Now combine that with the fourteen year-old cleavage and a low V-neck lycra shirt, and there is nothing left to the imagination. That’s right, it’s not just the jeans, lycra has found a friend in cotton too. Now if the shirt isn’t riding down the front of her chest, then it’s doing little at the bottom to even cover her belly button. Or it may just be providing an unwanted view of the top and bottom.
Now here’s the tricky part, who do I blame for the fact that I cannot go out in public with out full few of the private parts of every teen and pre-teen girl in the place? Is it the fourteen year-old, who is only dressing like her friends and the girls on TV? The parent(s), who allow her to walk out of the house like this? Maybe I should blame clothing manufacturers that make these clothes, then market them to teens? Or the teen stores that buy only the most revealing clothes.
I have got to go with the parents, hands down. The fourteen year-old will only buy what she’s allowed to buy. The clothes manufacturer will only sell what’s being bought. I mean, in all honesty, most fourteen year-olds can’t support their wardrobes.
True, it is the parents’ right to allow their child to wear whatever she wants. If the parent doesn’t have a problem with it, what can you do? You can’t tell a parent how to dress their own kid.
So are there any solutions? Or must we remain subject to not having to guess what color panties are teenage girls are wearing?
She’s got that big ole’ ghetto booty, tight lycra jeans (low enough to show off that hot pink thong), and oh how that belly shirt shows off her D-cup. Damn!!! Girlfriend is all that and then some! Although girlfriend my have it going on, she is only fourteen. That’s right, fourteen.
Was it like this when I was growing up in the eighties? Maybe it was, but even the tight jeans were not this tight. I grew up in time where mostly baggy jeans and backwards clothes were the style, but today it is all about showing everything you got, panties and all. I look at some of the clothes our teenager girls are wearing and I wonder how they squeezed their overly mature bodies into them.
Now there were fashion controversies in the eighties: skin-tight denim and the mini skirts. But I lived in a home where my mother whipped out the measuring tape before I left for school just to make sure the skirt hovered right above my knees. And don’t get me started on the pinch test, to see if I had enough breathing room in my jeans. Today’s purpose of a measuring tape is to tell you if the waistline is no more than an inch below your navel! Unless you’re a plumber, I don’t want to see your crack, your panties…nothing!!
And that is no longer toilet paper or socks in that bra. Push-up, padded, and water-filled bras rule the market. Now combine that with the fourteen year-old cleavage and a low V-neck lycra shirt, and there is nothing left to the imagination. That’s right, it’s not just the jeans, lycra has found a friend in cotton too. Now if the shirt isn’t riding down the front of her chest, then it’s doing little at the bottom to even cover her belly button. Or it may just be providing an unwanted view of the top and bottom.
Now here’s the tricky part, who do I blame for the fact that I cannot go out in public with out full few of the private parts of every teen and pre-teen girl in the place? Is it the fourteen year-old, who is only dressing like her friends and the girls on TV? The parent(s), who allow her to walk out of the house like this? Maybe I should blame clothing manufacturers that make these clothes, then market them to teens? Or the teen stores that buy only the most revealing clothes.
I have got to go with the parents, hands down. The fourteen year-old will only buy what she’s allowed to buy. The clothes manufacturer will only sell what’s being bought. I mean, in all honesty, most fourteen year-olds can’t support their wardrobes.
True, it is the parents’ right to allow their child to wear whatever she wants. If the parent doesn’t have a problem with it, what can you do? You can’t tell a parent how to dress their own kid.
So are there any solutions? Or must we remain subject to not having to guess what color panties are teenage girls are wearing?
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