What I Know About: Greener Grass

I don't know about your mother and grandmother, but every time I got to the point where I started to envy what someone else had versus what I had they said "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence". I always remember thinking "Well what the hell does that mean?"Does it mean you are going to get me the thing I want or not? I eventually came to understand that it meant no I was not getting anything.


However, recently I have begun to understand that concept very clearly. Thank God for me that my understanding of this concept has come from watching... from the other side of the fence.

Recently I have heard from a friend that another friend of mine was trying to use my life as the measuring stick. She was trying to holding her relationship dealings with her NEW step children up to mine. Essentially she was trying to say "look at the relationship that Jenn has with her step kids... I want it to be like that." Apparently my grass looks pretty from where she is standing. Well, right now it is pretty, but she chooses to forget all of the watering and mowing and fertilizing that I have been doing for the past 10 years to make it so green. It is green because of financial sacrifice, tear filled discussions, and hard work. But she does not really feel like she should go through all that. She just wants an insta happy family, but "it don't work like that honey".

Next on my list is her significant other. Long story short, it seems he left his wife, not because of my friend, but because I think he had decided that he wanted to be in a different type of relationship, with a different kind of woman. He was married to what seems from my perspective to be a successful woman. A woman that I imagine ran most of the details of the house, maintained her own financial stability, and probably demanded a level of respect from him that he did not want to part with. I am sure there was some hurt and pain that took place on both sides of that marriage, so I expect that his vision of a perfect woman became one that was the polar opposite of what she was... a woman who was not so career focused, or demanding. His new dream girl would be willing to stay home and take care of the house and children, forgoing her own personal goals for the support of his goals. He went searching beyond the fence for his greener pastures, and there she was... my friend.

What I think he did not bank on was that on this new pasture, 100% of the burden rests on him. She is not working... at his request, and now that the baby is here, she does not really want to go back to work... but she is still being asked to pay a portion of the bills out of her savings. I wonder what will happen when her savings runs out? Also, she needs him for everything, her sun rises and sets on his every word... just like what he thought he wanted.

So I hope if you are in a place in your life where you are unhappy, and you are looking over the fence into someone else's yard.
Look away because:
1) You don't know what it took to get to where they are
2) Be sure you are prepared to handle whatever it is that you want
3) Maybe they seem so happy because they are just happy in the place God has them right now

So work on your own yard... run your own race... and just look for the joy in your own life. Most likely there is someone looking over the fence at your raggedy brownish green grass too.

What I know about: "Good Enough"

In my life it seems to be the season of work and career. I have been doing alot of speaking and training in my area of knowledge. I am in the middle of performance review season, and even , my friends have begun to step up and take on more responsibly in their careers or career aspirations, and have come to me for support and advice.

Today I spent some time ( 9 hrs) In a process improvement training seminar. I learned a great deal... and some of it went right over my head. But one thing stuck right in the middle of my forhead. The faclitator said somthing to the affect of "Why would you want to be good enough when you could be one the best"? This has kind of been my modus opperandi for some time now. Career wise I really try to do the best I can. I try and do my work like I am working for God directly. Like it does not matter what they say on my performace review... I am trying to work like my performance review is happening every day. I think of it this way. It was 2 years ago last week when my prayers were answered and I walked through the doors of my new job. I had been looking a job for weeks, I interviewed on every call and prayed daily that I would find the job that I needed to support my family. If I belive that God answered my pray and put me in position to recive that job then aren't I technically working for Him? He kinda hired me... right?

So I want to make Him proud and show my gratitude for making it possible. So every day I go into work and try my damndest to bring my A game. I cannot take for granted any bit of it. Especially in this economy it is not the time to... if you are fortunate enough to have a job and have the ablity to take care of you and your family...offer anything but your best to your blessing.

Additionally if your path is not the traditional 9-5 and you have been given gifts to produce a product or service. Don't you owe it to Him to do that. Not everyone has your gifting. To be unmotivated to follow your gifting is kinda wrong too.

All I know is Good enough is not good enough.

What I know about: Getting out of a Bad Situation

I do not subscribe to going when the going gets tough but I do think that you should not let you health, sanity and well being be put in jeopardy. I know there are reasons why we convince ourselves to stay in bad situations, but the reasons are generally based on short term thinking.

Today I have two friends in situations that warrant an escape plan. One is in a marriage that has been on a steady downhill track since the were pronounced man and wife. It just took another big tumble yesterday. The other in a job where no matter what she does, they will find a way to fire her. She just got to the fork in the road this afternoon. Both know that they probably need to get themselves to safer ground, but both hesitate because, of perceived financial, and moral barriers.

Before you make the choice to spend one more day in that bad situation, ask yourself... Is this God's best for me? He is a comforter, support and provider. He plans are for your good and not your harm. Does the situation you are in feel like it is a part of Gods plan?

A friend, @magsmac on twitter sent this video around today, it inspired this post. It reminded me of what my friends are going through. Maybe they will be inspired by this crazy little puppy. If he can do it... They can too. You can almost see the moment before he starts scaling the wall where he asks himself "Is this God's best for me!"



It's true, getting out is not easy. Are you scared of what is on the other side? It is just fear... don't let fear stop your progress. There are lots of things I have done, while afraid. Accept that getting out may be a bit of a challenge, and it may take a little work... your landing might be a little bumpy. But once you get there you have a brand new set of choices.

What I Think: Love

Love
By: Mia Black
6/20/08

I love you. I love going to the movies. I love reading. I love music. I love food. I love writing. For everything that I love, I've forgotten to love me. I've forgotten to take care of me. I forgotten to make me happy. I've forgotten to find comfort within myself. I think I may have even lost me. But the comfort that I have found is that I have not lost the desire to find me. I haven't lost the desire to be happy. I haven't lost the desire to take care of myself. I haven't lost the desire to comfort myself. And I definitely haven't lost the desire to love myself.

The one thing I have noticed is that when you begin to love yourself, the devil gets pissed. The devil will call you out of your name. He will make you feel guilty when you buy nice things for yourself. He will try and knock you off your course and bring you back to the darkside. And I will admit, over the past two months I've turned out my light and joined him. But God is so deep in my heart that He pulls me out, turns the light back on and brushes me off. The comfort I have in His forgiveness is that He has allowed me the strength to face the devil. For so long I have either joined or ignored him and that has truly been the detriment to my life's decisions. So now that I face all of my problems, pain, hurt, emotions, concerns, I can finally close chapters in my life that have been left open. And trust me, they aren't happy times that I have been going through, but they are necessary times.

It's a scary road to travel down, but God has placed so many angels in my life that all I have to do is pick up the phone for guidance and support. I'm so happy I made that call before I got to the nail salon.